dreams do come true - i finally attend a taping of the colbert report

My friend Jenny 8 Lee was making the New York rounds this week promoting her new book, The Fortune Cookie Chronicles: Adventures in the World of Chinese Food. I've had the pleasure of watching this book go from a proposal on her laptop, which I first read while in the middle of a Halloween party back in 05. I was sober enough to enjoy what I read and make a good impression -- we hit it off.

Along the way, I've gotten to read drafts of chapters and build her blog, along with a few other design tasks here and there. So I'm getting quite a bit of pleasure from watching all the success it's had so far.

And when Jenny told me she was going to appear on the Colbert Report, I immediately started drafting dialog and one-liners for her in an effort to solidify my chances of attending the show with her. It was absolutely worth it. Shaking Colbert's hand was akin to shaking the hands of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Hetfield all at once.

Colbert does a bit of Q&A before the show to humanize himself for the audience, revealing an man as affable as he is witty. The show went quite well -- even though he had to redo The Word segment -- and his interview with Jenny got quite a few laughs. And she even used one of my lines (comforting me with the knowledge that I nearly earned my attendance).

polish war-bears get memorials now?

What the hell is going on? Some dangerous reporting from the BBC has been discovered on reddit. This bear "hero" was found by Polish troops in Iran (a little lost, maybe?) and was enlisted so it could join them on their European deployment.

A campaign has been launched to build a permanent memorial to a bear which spent much of its life in Scotland - after fighting in World War II.

The bear was trained to carry mortar rounds and drink beer. All the requirements necessary to be a soldier in the Polish Army.

If only the Polish had had an army of bears in the first place, they wouldn't have had any trouble with those Germans...

u.s. leads, global economy fails

Most of the folks on reddit have been pretty bummed about today's financial news. I didn't want to add to all the doom and gloom speculation about a recession, but I thought I should contribute something in the form of a reddit logo.

I remembered an old logo I'd done back in June with a very hug-able bear mascot.

But that bear's attitude didn't seem to capture the spirit of the day, so I had to make a slight change. Hopefully this change to the reddit logo won't exacerbate the recession -- the alien is a reputable bellwether.

Try to enjoy the bear market and be sure to hug your loved ones the next time you see them. Your savings may be disappearing, but they're not going anywhere.

If they are, don't fret, they didn't really love you anyway.

why we can't trust the french

Here's proof that the bear lobby is much stronger than anyone is willing to say. I took this photo in a Paris subway station:The title of this event is Bêtes et Hommes which my translator says means "Animals and Men" -- so why the picture of a bear?!

Now, I'm no zoologist, but I know there are plenty of other animals they could have used for this advertisement. Why not put the friendly silhouette of a hippopotamus*, or the awkward outline of a giraffe?

But instead the French caved to the bear sympathizers. This kind of blatant pandering to the Ursidae family would never be tolerated here in the U.S.

Don't look for any help from us, Jacques, when the bears storm your cities and pillage your croissants. You brought it on yourself.

And now, a poorly voiced-over montage of Colbert:

*OK, so the hippo actually one of the most dangerous animals to humans (excluding the mosquito, which would be a lame choice for an animals poster). Don't tell the bears -- if you thought they were a threat to our country now, just wait until they found that out.

keep bear cubs away from shredder: a look at the greatest warning label ever

I've had this shredder for a couple months and didn't notice this warning label until I was boxing it up for the move last week. I can't imagine what those Brooklyn movers were thinking while they saw me snapping this close-up.

Actually, I can imagine what they were thinking: What a stupid warning; who would be foolish enough to allow a bear -- let alone a bear cub -- near their new cross-cut paper shredder? (Cross-cut for added security, just ask Oliver North).

Even as cubs, these creatures are known for their ferocity. I've seen Grizzly Man, these beasts hate office supplies. You think those guys in Office Space did a number on that fax machine? Imagine how a grizzly would react to the imminent threat of a machine that slashes 10 sheets at a time.

But really, why the teddy bear? The only reason I stopped trying to drink the bleach in our laundry room is because my mom put those "Mr. Yuck" stickers on it. Then my dad started putting it on anything in the fridge that he didn't want me to eat or drink.Where is the "Mr. OMFG MY HAND IS A BLOODY PULP OF GROUND CHUCK!"?

That would keep the kids away much better than a cute teddy.